When I started this blog, I had full intentions of posting once a week. That my posts would be inspirational and in depth, filled with my heart and opinions. Once a week? Definitely not. I hit writer’s block. I ran out of time. I contented myself to watch Netflix after a full day at the office followed by hours in the theatre. I stifled my own creativity by not just writing my thoughts down.
However, I feel good about the work I was able to get done here. I expanded myself through writing and connected with others who I would never have been able to before. I discussed topics I was afraid to talk about, but it felt so right to share. I am so incredibly thankful for you, readers, for supporting my baby steps in the bloggersphere.
This year has been a heck of a doozy. In the bare events of it, I:
-Stage managed four shows, two back to back in the spring and one after the other in the fall.
-Had some fun photoshoots
-Was selected to attend a conference for work, and traveled for the first time for work.
-Applied for a new position at work. Didn’t get it, but was runner-up.
-Had my first jumping lessons in several years
-Managed my emotional state this fall
-Discovered I like, dare I say love, yoga
-Met some amazing friends for the first time in person
-Made stronger friendships with those here
-Strengthened my marriage
I feel like I’m forgetting a lot. This year drained me of my emotional energy, and it will take some time to build it back up. I have been feeling withdrawn, pensive, slow. I think that my body is telling me that I need to do less to do more.
While I adore theatre, I do not think it is a healthy environment for me to be in all the time. Working a full day, and then going straight to the theatre until 11pm at night, frankly sucks. I lose sleep and am late to work the next day. I don’t have time to shop for groceries and then eat Chipotle or some other fast food version just to survive. I don’t spend quality time with my husband because I’m at the theatre. I don’t see the sun, or horses, or have time to exercise.
So, after careful thought, I have decided to step away from stage managing for a while. I need time. I need quality time with my husband and my friends. I need to see horses and ride more than once a month, and I need to go outside and get some sunlight. I’m going to step back and do less, in order to do much more.
It is time to turn inwards and focus on what makes my heart smile. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll grow more than I thought possible.
Cheers to you, 2020!
Love from a new horizon, Connie