I never expected the past year to unfold in the tumultuous way that it has. Horrible, gut-wrenching events shocked the nation. We befell the deepest collective anxiety and depression my generation as ever seen, we have lost souls too young, and we were not able to say goodbye to beloved ones in person. We also loved big, voiced our opinions, and stood for change we know will better the world.
It has been impossible to feel like my tiny voice matters in this hurricane. I felt I was shouting on the inside, but unable to let out a peep. Did it matter? Did I matter in this world when so many bigger and more important things were happening?
The answer, of course, is yes. To quote a favorite TV show, “You know, nine hundred years of time and space and I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important before.”
In this year, I was able to grow my understanding of myself, and find the voice I felt I lost through the magic of horses. Yeah I know, I say ‘magic’ when it’s really connection, energy, and understanding. But isn’t that just a bit of magic in itself?
I sought out connection in my liberty horsemanship work. I allowed parts of my shell to fall off and to unearth the joy of who I am through it. I found out that I wasn’t setting boundaries right, with horses or with friends, and worked to establish what boundaries I need to flourish. The lessons the horses taught me parallels relationships with humans, and how I see myself.
My voice returned. In fact, it has broadened. I feel more myself than I have in years. Through setting boundaries, it allowed me to be clear in my communication. And through clarity, the understanding and the joy has been able to shine.
So though this year has been awful in so many ways, for me it also allowed me to return to myself. Horses saved me, once again, when I didn’t know what I needed.
So Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and may you find your voice.
Warm wishes, stay safe, and go kiss a pony.
PS- The horses in this article lovingly owned by Jess Roberts of Harmonized Horsemanship